Do I Need A Partner To Learn To Ballroom Dance? – 002

episode – 002

Todd Combs & Taras Denysenko

Episode Transcripts:

Todd Combs 0:07
All right, everybody. This is the second episode of all about ballroom dancing and have one I am one of your hosts, Todd Combs and I on the other one harass Dennis sanko. In today’s topic is a hot topic It is called Do I need a partner to ballroom dance?

Taras Denysenko 0:35
And what an interesting topic this is, and it seems appropriate for the current times. But boy, we get a lot of phone calls and inquiries about people asking, Hey, I want to learn how to ballroom dance. Do I need a dance partner? Yeah, I would say normally who asked this question sort of the ladies, the single ladies that they call in and you know, for dance lessons. So I’d say in a week that’s a that’s a good percentage of people.

Todd Combs 1:00
Call and ask that question constantly. Yeah. And that’s a good question do you need? Do you need a partner to ballroom dance? And that is that is the focus of us answering this question. I mean, it’s an easy answer, but we’ll tell you why. It’s an easy answer. But but maybe before we talk about and just give them an answer, I’m going to give the example of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. So Maslow proposed that healthy human beings have a certain number of needs and that those needs are arranged in the hierarchy, right? A lot of people might know the Maslow’s pyramid. And this is done by five, a five level pyramid with the higher needs coming into focus only once after the lower needs have been met. So let’s the first two needs we don’t even they don’t really pertain to us. The first need is the physiological need. And that is air water, food, shelter, sleep, clothing. The second one is safety needs personal security, employment resources, health, things like that. So I think people who are calling into dance have probably met those needs. And they already have those needs, right?  And then, and then the third name, you can talk about the third need.

Taras Denysenko 2:17
Well, 30 talking about love and belonging, where people are looking for friendship, a little bit more intimacy, family sense of connection.

Todd Combs 2:27
Right? And then the, the fourth one would be esteem. So that’s, you know, they want they want respect, they want self esteem, they want status, recognition, they want strength, freedom, things like that. Yeah. And then the final one is the self actualization, the desire to become the most that one can be.  Right, and I think I think that’s true. You could look at that pyramid and say, there’s all kinds of things you can see yourself and all those levels. Everyone has those levels. Yep. And yeah, People come in and in dancing is not something everyone did when they grew up. I mean, I will I shouldn’t say that some sometimes ladies come in and they did cheerleading ballet tap jazz, but guys never really did a lot of that not many. Right? So, yes, this is something new, you know, for promote for most people but even when women come in they were dancing by themselves. And they were in control. And then they come in and yeah, ballroom dance and they the guys lead. They hate it. Yeah. That’s very true. They, they hate it. Yeah. But they they learn to like it. So so then maybe now we can, let’s discuss a few reasons why. You know, people call the studio, kind of inside of this pyramid. So, now we trust and I discussed that next episode we’re going to have a have a more in depth discussion about the reasons why people call The studio why people come in what? What are the major reasons they want to take lessons? Right? Right. So that’ll be the next episode. So today, we thought would be an appetizer. You know, we would go over some of these but not so much detail because the next episode we will Yeah, that’s that’s like it’s a good one because that next that next topic that’s a that’s a big one. That’s what helps people really want to develop their dancing to their utmost potential.

Taras Denysenko 4:29
But yeah, yeah, there was some just general light stuff,

Todd Combs 4:33
some light stuff. So what would you say okay, you give them the first one. What’s one reason why people call the studio in interested in taking dance lessons?

Taras Denysenko 4:40
You know, I think the biggest, biggest reason is that when people go out and they see people dancing, they look they’re having a lot of fun and some music. That’s the biggest one. They just want more fun, and just enjoy their socialize when they go out.  That’s a great one

Todd Combs 4:55
right now. And I would say I’ll give, you can think of one, two. So I’ll say We get people who, who, cuz I’m in Houston. I mean North Houston. So there’s a big, I think it’s one of the biggest Cruise Line ports here. So we get a lot of people that just came from a cruise. And guess what, there is a ton of dancing on a cruise. So all they did was watch people dance and they did not. And they felt like they were missing out. They were left out someone. Someone didn’t invite them to the party, right? So people come in a lot of times because they were missing that enjoyment of social dancing on a cruise. That’s when we get a lot of that. How about you?

Taras Denysenko 5:35
Yeah, we get a few of those but more. We’re in Virginia Beach, Virginia, so we’re right on the oceanfront, or we’re right in the ocean. So we have a lot of people coming in for vacation. We have a lot of live bands playing at all sorts of different venues at the hotels. So there’s a lot of opportunity for people to listen to really good music, and shags a really big thing in these parts down here and so there’s a lot of Dancing, swing dancing, country dancing. So when people are out there, at the hotels at the ocean, they see people dancing. They’re like, ah, we want to do that it looks like so much more fun. We can get so much more out of our vacation. Because there’s so much good music. So that’s a big one.

Todd Combs 6:18
Yeah, and then and then, since I’m in Houston, it’s, it’s now it’s really hot in the summer, so people don’t go out necessarily as much. You know, when it’s when it’s 300 degrees, but there’s there we don’t get that snow. So there’s a lot of outdoor venues. Yeah, outdoor music. And when they’re doing the outdoor concerts, they are playing dance music. I mean, it’s it’s tough. 40 6070s 80s so people are out there trying to dance which I applaud them. I’d rather someone try to dance than just sit down. Totally agree. Yeah, but people people see there’s usually there’s usually a couple good dancers and then everyone watches them. Now. Not everybody has Some people don’t have the cojones to get up and try it. But they all i mean i guarantee they all wish they could and I know what I’m talking about is the guys who wish they could get up and do it. So yeah, but I think another another reason is specially right now and we are still in the middle of the Coronavirus lockdown and I think people are gaining calories, maybe

Taras Denysenko 7:25
think that’s the thing.

Todd Combs 7:27
The belt buckle is is going to the next run, I think exercise and health benefits, things like that, that have to do with with dancing and because dancing is a great way to exercise and you don’t realize you’re exercising. That’s not the gym and that’s what people love about it.

Taras Denysenko 7:49
That is a really, really, really, really I’ll say overtime. Really good point. Nine times out of 10 people are like, Man, I’m getting a workout and I don’t even feel like I’m exercising.  It’s active, you’re using your entire body and your brain to try to learn this skill. So when you’re trying to learn a new skill or new type of movement, you definitely are working your body a bit more. So, yeah, that is that is true.

Todd Combs 8:21
Yeah. And you touched on the idea that it’s so important that dance studios circulate these medical journals, articles, and things like that, that that, that how they link, dancing with brain activity, in a big way to cut down your risk of dementia and Alzheimer’s. there’s not as many things you can do that require you to listen to music, anticipate the timing, look ahead into either what you’re about to lead for the man or being so actively, or being so actively mentally that you’re waiting as a woman to work.  respond to what his movement is and then know where he’s going and be able to do and accomplish the the steps you’re supposed to meet. Your brain is on overdrive constantly.

Taras Denysenko 9:10
Yep.

Todd Combs 9:10
So it is a big, big deal for brain health. And I can’t even I can’t even say enough. You know about brain health. We have so many I have one of my students whose whose sole purpose well who’ve you’ve worked with when when we bring to Ross and our studio, he works with Ann, and her mom was in this this old house, the old folks, I mean, it was in a care facility. And I think it was terrible that they had the buildings were were named 54321. So when you when as you progressed in the buildings, it meant you were getting worse. So I think they could have named it like the oak. You know, the oak building the pine Building are something nice, but it was literally like when you’re in building five You’re You’re good. You’re basically you know, you just got there for you need a little more care three need more and then two, you know you can have your own you have to have a nurse with you all the time one is like you’re almost gone, right? It’s like so terrible because it’s like, but her mom was in building three and went to building two and no one you know, the thing was no one wanted to change to building two. So you could see that you were deteriorating. Yeah. And so and and biggest reason to take lessons and compete programming is that she does not want to go through what her mom did. So that is her biggest thing is brain health. She knows how big it is. So whenever she messes things up, I mess with her and go I’m gonna put you in building TWO

Taras Denysenko 10:53
it probably gets her back on focus real quick.

Todd Combs 10:55
It does and then yeah, she laughs And then she gets back in the in the in the saddle.

Taras Denysenko 11:00
Well, yeah, well, you know, to go along with that another another big reason people want to learn to dance is it’s a great way. If they do have family members going through something, something to help them relieve some stress. I mean, stress relief. There’s so much stress in the world right now. Yeah, especially now with the COVID 19 like people we did a virtual class today and we have some health care professionals that never miss our virtual group classes because they are just so stressed out and they need an escape and the studio physically going there to be around healthy fun environment people who are just so excited to dance, but they still not get get that same feeling virtually.  But yeah, stress relief. That’s that’s another big one.

Todd Combs 11:50
Yeah, yeah. Right. And and even when we weren’t in the COVID there were still people that you know, because oil and gas is So there’s, you know, these people who, who sometimes we have women have come in and said, I make decisions all day long. I don’t want to make one. I want someone to tell me what to do. I want to be the learn, you know, the learning, you know? Yeah, I want to I want to, I don’t want to have to tell everybody and so, and sometimes the back, I’ll just say, Hey, you know, what, what dance Do you want to warm up with today? And they’re like, I hate you. I don’t care. You just tell me like, even to that point. Yeah, I go. Yeah, I’m sorry. Okay. I’m trying. I tried to be nice to the students and give them some, you know, some options and things. But some, sometimes they don’t want that. They just want to be, you know, the stress of their job. It’s, you know, dancing definitely takes it away. And it’s very hard to think about things outside when you’re dancing. You know, I’m sorry, it’s, you know, think about outside influences outside beings. You know, it’s just dancing takes over. Yep. When you’re in 100%. Yeah. So, no,

Taras Denysenko 12:56
wait, wait. Before we go. The next thing you try to do Be nice to your students once in a while.

Todd Combs 13:03
Every once in a while every once in a while. I’m nice because I turn around real quick. Yeah. And I and I put them in building TWO

Taras Denysenko 13:13
Oh man, bam, bam,

Todd Combs 13:16
bam.  I think I do is probably the one of the main reasons and I slowly touched on it earlier but one, I can’t we can’t bypass the reason all those other reasons they’re there but there’s one reason guys are in and guys are in for the confidence. They lack the confidence. And they’ll never tell us we know every guy comes in. If he’s single, he wants to be more you know, he wants to push himself be able to you know to attract women. Yep. Or or if it’s not his main goal to meet women it’s it’s still a social activity they would like to be able to do even if it’s a one day I would like to get married again. And I like to be able to dance with her, you know, so it’s not the immediate reason It’s pretty close.

Taras Denysenko 14:01
Yeah. But, you know, interesting story. Like we’re, again, we’re here in Virginia Beach where there’s a lot of Navy people here and a lot of single guys. They’ll call us they’ll be interested in taking lessons. One of the reasons is stress relief because they want some sort of balance in their life depending if they’re, they’re more of a, what’s the word I’m looking for?  They just need some balance if they’re actual operators or, you know, using firing weapons and doing all that stuff there it’s Go go go, you know, they want something that’s going to be a little bit more balanced, a little more cultured. Um, but it’s interesting talking about the confidence we’ve had guys tell us they feel more comfortable jumping out of an airplane than they do on the dance floor. Or they feel more comfortable under fire.

Todd Combs 14:56
Yeah,

Taras Denysenko 14:56
then on the floor, so confidence is a big thing. It’s can be a scary thing and like, oftentimes when guys, if guys don’t know how to dance what is the typical guy do stupid dumb you know? They’ll make fun of it. But we all know

Todd Combs 15:10
yeah I love the guys who come in and you can you can tell the that come in with their wives and it used to be much worse in the 90s in the early 2000s but but nowadays it’s a little bit more mainstream yeah but yeah the guys who come in and they’re kind of goofing off you know they’re like oh and they’ll just try to quadruple spin the women mm hmm it’s because they’re the second their competence gets in starts to get shibori they go into guy mode in most most guys do it now older guys don’t because they’ve already been crushed by their wives. They know that it’s all over. But the young guys they don’t know yet. They don’t know yet. So they act goofy and and try to be cool. And then and then and then once they’ve once they feel like they can accomplish something They’re cool, but guys are We are all little boys. And when we can do something, if we even feel like there’s not a chance we give up and throw our toys in the ground. I mean, it doesn’t matter how old you are, guys, we’re just kind of like that.

Taras Denysenko 16:16
Yeah.

Todd Combs 16:16
And then and then you know, we can’t do it we’re going to give up who are women, they’ll persevere you know, they didn’t do it, right. They’ll just do it again, guys, they start doing it wrong too many times. And they give up so female teachers learn to teach, you know, men, they know, US teaching women and female teachers teaching men it’s, it’s totally different.

Taras Denysenko 16:36
Yeah.

Todd Combs 16:36
And they, you know, female teachers know, I gotta do this. And I have to do that, you know, to keep the guys in check. But then but then the female teachers, I swear, I think they have it better the guys listen to the female teachers. They do what they say. It’s it’s like the male students that have a wife and a female teacher, and they do what they say. Whereas when we teach women….Lord, it’s “no I don’t want to do that. I don’t what about this? What about that?” Like, …….?  I’m your teacher. Just do what I say

Taras Denysenko 17:08
Just do it now. Just do it do it. Maybe then, man. Yeah, that’ll be another episode because we could go on and on about that one.

Todd Combs 17:16
Oh my god, I could do five episodes. It’s probably good. We should have a female. We should have a female on this show to try to balance this out. It’s gonna be heavy handed on the ladies.

Taras Denysenko 17:26
I could talk about my one student, Amber. Amber if she ever listens to this.

Todd Combs 17:30
Oh, yeah.  I’ll tell her I’m gonna we’re gonna work. We’re gonna work on Kiva motion today and we’re gonna put you in front of the mirror so you can see what you’re doing. “No, I don’t want to do that.” What do we know? You don’t want to do that.  You’re gonna do what I tell you.  That’s right. I’m the highly skilled your doctor. No, no, tell your professor school. We’re just gonna work on today and in class. “Nah when I do that,” Why are we the only ones that have to deal with that?

Taras Denysenko 18:00
I Don’t Know, I don’t know.

Todd Combs 18:02
Now let’s answer the question to Taras. I’ll ask you. I’ll ask you the question. Okay, the episode you can answer. Taras. Do I need a partner to learn to dance?

Taras Denysenko 18:14
Well, I’m going to answer that question for you in the most uncomplicated way. No.

Todd Combs 18:21
Bam,

Taras Denysenko 18:21
bam,

Todd Combs 18:22
good.  You definitely do not need a partner to learn to dance.

Taras Denysenko 18:29
Nope.

Todd Combs 18:31
Never.

Taras Denysenko 18:32
And why is that?

Todd Combs 18:33
Yeah, yeah. So why is that? Why do we not need a partner to learn to dance now here, I’ll give you one reason and then terrassa give you another. So when Now, if you’re calling a dance studio, and you’re saying I want to learn to dance, you do not need a dance party because the studio will supply you with a teacher, right? You’re going to have to learn from someone and they’re going to give you a teacher and that teacher will be your partner. That teacher is going to teach you to dance that They’re gonna be showing you everything so you don’t need a partner. Now, the the other good thing about not having a partner, I’ll add to this is that you get the teachers 100% of the lesson. If you have senior female and you have your your male partner in, I guarantee the guy’s gonna get 70% of that. That teachers time on the first few lessons first, maybe not, you may 1 lesson or two, because the guys have to lead. So the guy is going to get most of the attention. So when you don’t have a partner, you’re getting 100% of us. Now, if you’re learning by yourself, let’s say you know if YouTube or something like that, which is more challenging, but if you’re learning by yourself, you still don’t want to have a partner because you have to learn how to do moves on your own. Before you can ever learn to make a woman do talking to the guys first who if you need if you’re before you ever can lead a lady you have to know how to move yourself. Mm hmm. Before you can Everything about moving a woman now if you’re a lady wanting to learn to dance, again, same applies you go to a studio, they’re gonna have a partner. If you’re learning by yourself, they will show you the pattern on of underarm turn, or a salsa basic or a two step basic or a cha cha basic, and then you just need to work on that on your own. So if you can work on the patterns yourself, then you that’s what you need to work on. And you don’t need a partner for that.

Taras Denysenko 20:27
The second reason why you do not need a partner to learn to dance is because a good teacher will teach you how to lead or follow in general, not just lead or follow your certificate other whether it be your husband or wife, but learning to lead or follow with your significant other is not the best way to learn. Because oftentimes you get into a routine or a specific grouping that you get kind of stuck in and then you just end up kind of dancing through memory.

Todd Combs 20:57
Right. I was gonna say if, if anyone can think back.  Like your grandparents, did you ever have those grandparents that when you were younger, that they danced, or maybe it’s just an old couple, you knew, they danced. And they look great on the floor. And they look so cool. They look so cute. They did the little stuff. But if you ever tried to dance with him separately, it was a disaster. You could not recreate that cool move with your grandfather with he just kind of moved around and kind of manhandled you to get through it because they had their little thing, which looks great. And I don’t want to I don’t want to say it’s not good to have that. But, you know, in our studio and tarus terrassa Studio, our goal is to teach you to lead, not lead these five steps in a row in a grouping. It’s the lead whatever you want, whenever you want to. That’s what leading and following it so not getting pigeonholed in that old cute couples scenario which again, looks great That’s, that’s awesome, but that’s not what we’re out to teach. You know, we want you to be a dancer. Yeah. Not a routiner.

Taras Denysenko 22:08
Yep. And that’s a big thing right there. We want you to learn how to dance. Not just a step, but learn how to dance. You know, and that could be a whole other topic right there to is what is Yeah, what is dancing.

Todd Combs 22:23
Right, right. Yeah.

Taras Denysenko 22:24
But you know, you look at like, talking about routines and groupings, like, Dancing with the Stars, like these celebrities. You know, they they go on to this show, and they learn, they learn a routine and they learn you know, they talk about Okay, they’re going to do this week’s episode. They’re doing the cha cha cha Yeah, well, if the if you were to try to go out to a club and they were like guys is a great Chacha Do you want to talk? They’ll be like, Well, I know how to do a crossover Ray to walk around turn to side by side piece to this thing. And that’s all I know how to do.

Todd Combs 22:57
Yeah, and they got to play the song.

Taras Denysenko 22:58
You gotta play that. I did on this.

Todd Combs 23:00
Show.

Taras Denysenko 23:00
Yep. Yeah,

Todd Combs 23:01
yeah, yeah people people come in and think those celebrities know how to dance. They don’t know how to dance those celebrities have now some of them may have learned before the show salsa but they did not learn how to dance from the show they learned how to do a routine to that song. And with that partner Yeah, you try to you try to you find you know, a celebrity who was on the show or you meet with someone out and ask him to dance. Alright, guarantee it’s not gonna go Well

Taras Denysenko 23:28
no. But they do look at you know, these teachers that are on that show they make their students or those celebrities Oh yeah, good. But Oh definitely knows to experience leaders or followers you try to ask them they won’t feel good.

Todd Combs 23:42
So going back to why, you know, you learning together only as a bad ideas again, because you only will learn to dance with each other. Now, let’s say 80% of the time that’s fine. So for most people, they’ll go Oh, that’s that’s fine with me. That’s good. And and I’ll say you know, like We’ve talked about we want to make you good leaders and followers that say, okay, even though you’re going to dance with each other in life 80% of the time, you’re still going to go to a wedding, you’re still going to go to a party, you’re still going to go on a cruise with friends or something, there’s going to be chances or you’re going to be around other people who dance Now, if you’re that cool guy, that couple like said grandparents and you know how to dance together. People are gonna see you and think you are the man. You’re cool. That’s when your confidence goes through the roof. That’s like, Man, that’s right. I am the man. I am awesome. Yeah. And then and then they’re gonna go Hey, look, this a song, let’s go dance. And then your confidence is going to crash like a like a glass vase. Because you dance with your wife and you’re good at that two step. You’re good at that salsa with your with your wife, but if you dance to someone else, you know, it’s a disaster in in that’s, I’d say there’s some responsibility Kind of like, What is it? What is what is Peter Parker get told by his his uncle

Taras Denysenko 25:05
with great power comes great responsibility.

Todd Combs 25:10
Yes. And when you learn to dance, you have great power and the responsibility is that you are able to, to make every woman you dance with feel amazing. Yep. To make every guy you dance with feel like he is a good leader. And he there was it was as equally as amazing.

Taras Denysenko 25:28
Yeah.

Todd Combs 25:28
But when you dance with that, that partner and you know someone besides your wife, and or your partner, sorry, and you can’t dance with them. There’s this level of expectation they have. They just saw you rock the dance floor. They saw you hustle and spin that woman around to you know, big song and it was the coolest thing they’ve ever seen. And they dance with you and you it’s like you can barely walk and they start going. Wait, what? What happened to that guy?

Taras Denysenko 25:55
Yep.

Todd Combs 25:56
So So even though 80% of the time you dance with your wife, you want To be a good dancer 100% of the time. Yep. All right, not 80% of the time totally.

Taras Denysenko 26:05
My parents when they were growing up and when they…..back in the day when they were going out, they would go out to in Buffalo, New York and Rochester, New York, where they met each other. They would go to the Ukrainian clubs and in the Ukrainian community dancing was a really big thing. And a polka band would come on, and they would be dancing polkas or waltzes or foxtrots or rumbas in my mom and dad, they were known as, as a dancing couple, they would always dance together, again that 80% of the time, and because they typically looked good on the floor, the ladies would ask my dad to dance and my dad’s gentlemen, he would say yes, but I remember him telling me stories. He would get off the dance floor and he’d be like, ah, I had to carry these ladies around and they’re just killing me. Yeah, yeah. And my dad wasn’t a trained dancer, but he grew up culturally dance. It, but with his experience that my mom knew that she needed to carry her own way in, whereas some other other ladies had no idea. So we keep they came off the floor. And he, of course, would want to make them feel good. But he wouldn’t want to ever dance with him again. So it’s always good to be able to learn how to follow anybody. And so, yeah, whether you dance with your significant other, but, you know, when I lead my mom was a funny I led my mom a couple years back and I never danced with her before. And when I let her through a swing, I was amazed that she never took lessons and that she could carry your own weight. She knew what a connection was. She was just kind of never really yeah, it was pretty wild. I mean, she did take some lessons at the studio with back in Rochester when we were still there, but nothing of significance. But so yeah, women have a responsibility or should say followers have a responsibility as well that you have great power. But you have

Todd Combs 28:00
Yes,

Taras Denysenko 28:01
great responsibility.

Todd Combs 28:03
Do they call your your parents “The Dancing Denysenko’s”

Taras Denysenko 28:06
they do. That’s a thing.

Todd Combs 28:10
To make a logo, it’s awesome.

Taras Denysenko 28:12
Dancing with the dentists and goes up

Todd Combs 28:14
“The Dancing Denysenko’s”. Yeah, so that was that was pretty much the gist. I mean, we wanted to explain, you know why you don’t need a dance partner and stop thinking you need a dance partner and go out there. Learn some stuff, call your local studio, learn some basics. And, you know for us and what you’ll quickly find out is when the students come in now we want to show them some patterns. But again, anybody I always tell people, I can teach a monkey to do patterns, but I want to teach you to dance I want to teach you to lead movement, lead the lady around the floor with your body, so it doesn’t matter if a fast song a fast song is on or a slow song. So get out there and just give it a try. Yeah.

Taras Denysenko 28:59
you’ll you’ll you’ll thank us for it.

Todd Combs 29:02
Alright, the next episode is “The Top 10 Reasons Students Love To Ballroom Dance”

Taras Denysenko 29:09
Only 10

Todd Combs 29:11
only 10. I know Okay, top 30 Okay, reasons. That’s the

Taras Denysenko 29:16
top 50

Todd Combs 29:16
Okay, so going in our

Taras Denysenko 29:18
right. All right top tip.

Todd Combs 29:20
Okay, top 10 reasons. Well, we hope you enjoy this episode. We enjoy your feedback. You can find us on Facebook now. We are https://www.facebook.com/AllAboutBallroomDancing/ On Facebook. We have an Instagram, all https://www.instagram.com/allaboutballroomdancing/ on Instagram. And you can contact us at info@allaboutballroomdancing.com I might change it to a Gmail or a Yahoo account just to make it quicker. But right now, info@allaboutballroomdancing.com we’d love to hear your feedback on questions. You have comments anything about ballroom dancing? Let us know what are your thoughts. Facebook us.

Taras Denysenko 30:02
We want to hear that we’re here for you.

Todd Combs 30:05
So until next time, keep dancing.

Taras Denysenko 30:07
And we’ll see you on the dance floor real soon.

Todd Combs 30:42
If you like our theme music it’s called “Do It” by MBB. And you can find this at https://soundcloud.com/MBBOfficial